The Dark Night of the Soul and How to Navigate It 😅
Ever felt so lost, you weren’t even sure which way was up anymore? Like someone hit the cosmic pause button on your life, and now you’re just stuck spiraling? Well, my friend, you might just be wandering through what’s called the “Dark Night of the Soul.” Spoiler alert—it’s not as scary as it sounds, but it is the ultimate plot twist in your spiritual growth story. And the good news? You don’t have to face it alone.
This guide is here to be your flashlight as you stumble through the darkness. Grab a cup of tea, settle in, and let’s make sense of what you’re going through, together.
What Even Is the Dark Night of the Soul?
Okay, so despite the ominous name, the Dark Night of the Soul isn’t a punishment or some karmic booby trap. It’s actually more like life hitting you with a spiritual wake-up call. Kind of like when your phone stops working because you ignored all the software updates—except in this case, you are the phone and the update is a total overhaul of how you see yourself and the world.
The phrase itself comes from St. John of the Cross, who described it as a time when your soul takes the scenic route through the emotional and spiritual wilderness. You’ll feel lost, disconnected, maybe even a little existential. But hang on—this is exactly the kind of chaos that makes way for transformation.
Spiritual teacher Ahtayaa Leigh knows this all too well. For her, the dark night wasn’t just a poetic concept—it was a massive, messy, volcano-level eruption of change. “To the outside world, my life looked idyllic,” she shares. “But inside, I was dying. I wasn’t living my true, authentic purpose.” Heavy stuff, right? But stick with me—it gets better. Way better.
How to Know You’re in the Thick of It
Here’s the thing about the Dark Night of the Soul—it doesn’t exactly wave a flag to announce its arrival. But there are tell-tale signs that you’ve joined the club:
- Nothing Lights You Up—The stuff that used to make you happy? Meh. You’re not even sure what would make you happy anymore.
- Feeling Like a Cosmic Loner—Everyone else seems fine, but you feel like you’re floating around without connection or direction.
- Hollywood-Level Existential Crisis—You’re asking big-life questions like, “Why am I here?” and, “Should I quit my job and move to Bali?”
- All the Feels, All at Once—Waves of sadness, grief, or confusion hit out of nowhere, like emotional pop quizzes no one told you about.
- Weird Spiritual Shifts—You feel disconnected from old beliefs, but you’re not quite sure where you fit now.
For Ahtayaa, this phase was a whirlwind of “what the heck is happening to me?” moments. She remembers how a random conversation was the catalyst for change. “A friend mentioned the word ‘authentic,’ and something just clicked,” she recalls. It was like her soul was suddenly yelling, “Wake up! It’s time!”
How to Lean Into the Journey Without Losing It
Okay, so here’s the good and bad news about the Dark Night of the Soul—you can’t skip it or fast-forward through. Trust me, if there were shortcuts, someone would’ve written a guidebook by now. This is about surrendering, not sprinting. But don’t worry, you’ve got this! Here’s how to make the most of this bumpy ride:
1. Surrender Like a Boss
Fighting it only makes it worse. Imagine you’re stuck in quicksand—resisting just pulls you in deeper. Instead, lean in with trust, knowing this phase is temporary. Remember, you’re not broken, you’re upgrading.
2. Channel Your Inner Sherlock
This is a time for detective work—what in your life feels off? What needs to go? Ahtayaa describes using this phase to strip away the parts of herself that weren’t aligned with her truth. It’s messy, sure, but it’s also freeing, like Marie Kondo-ing your soul.
3. Be Your Own BFF
Would you yell at a friend who’s having a hard time? No way. Treat yourself with the same kindness. Journaling, bubble baths, or just binge-watching your favorite comfort shows can help you get through those harder days.
4. Drop the Ego Armor
Oof, this one’s hard. The Dark Night of the Soul often shifts the ego into its rightful place, moving from manager to assistant. It’s not about the ego “dying,” but rather stepping back so your higher self can take the lead. Think of it like retiring an old, ill-fitting costume (good riddance to those shoes that pinch) and embracing a version of yourself that feels authentic and true.
5. Watch for Signs Like a Hawk
Synchronicities are a soul scavenger hunt of sorts—they remind you that you’re not alone in this process. Ahtayaa remembers how seeing 11:11 repeatedly became a comforting message. “It was a whisper from the universe saying, ‘You’re on the right path.’” Keep an eye out for those winks from Spirit.
Stories That Prove You’ll Survive (And Thrive!)
Feeling skeptical? Fair. But here’s the thing—every Dark Night survivor will tell you it’s worth it. Take Ahtayaa, for instance. After years of chaos, questioning, and total surrender, she found herself living a life she never imagined. “I now understand the Dark Night was clearing the way for me to live my truth,” she says.
Her story proves that while this phase can feel like you’ve accidentally wandered into the world’s most difficult escape room, the exit is pure gold. And when you emerge? You’ll have clarity, purpose, and a connection to yourself that no one can take away.
You’re Not Just Surviving—You’re Transforming
Here’s the truth about the Dark Night of the Soul—it’s not a crisis, it’s a rebirth. It’s your soul shaking off old junk that no longer serves you, like an emotional exfoliation for your spirit. And when the dust settles, you’ll be lighter, brighter, and ready to step into your authentic purpose.
So, when it feels like the darkness will never lift, remember this—you’re in the messy, magical process of becoming. Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly (yes, that cliché is true for a reason), your transformation is inevitable. Keep going, friend. The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just a promise—it’s your truth.
Take a deep breath. You’ve got this, and the universe has you.
