Trauma Distorts Truth — Healing Reveals It

There is a profound truth that reveals itself through the journey of healing, one that has taken me a lifetime to fully feel and accept: the untruths we build as armor around our childhood wounds are not our reality. They are veils that distort our perception. As you heal, this armor begins to dissolve, allowing you to remember what is most natural. This isn’t a truth you learn from the outside; it is a deep knowing you finally feel from within, a remembrance of the nature of reality and your sacred place in it. Healing, then, is not about becoming someone new. It is the sacred act of returning to the light that has always been there, patiently waiting for you.

This journey of remembrance often begins in the tender, wounded places of our past. For many of us, these experiences can feel like a labyrinth of pain, a deep and disorienting passage that some call the Dark Night of the Soul. Yet, it is within this very darkness that the first glimmers of undistorted truth begin to shine through.

The First Veil: Unraveling the Distortions of Childhood Trauma

My own story is woven with threads of separation. From the moment I was born, a veil of distortion began to form around my understanding of love, family, and belonging.

A Tapestry of Separation

My father, a Black man, left before I was born in a huge betrayal to my mother, and of course, to me. His absence was a profound and defining schism in my world, the first tear in the fabric of my reality before I ever took my first breath. I was then raised by my white mother, a woman who carried her own deep wounds and whose love, though present, was shielded by a wall of emotional distance. The arms I longed for were often held stiffly at her sides. The emotional nourishment I craved was simply not hers to give.

This created layers of separation that I internalized as truth. The first was the parental chasm: the missing father, the distant mother. The second was racial. In a family where I was the only person of color, I carried a constant, humming sense of “otherness.” I was loved, yes, but I was also different, a visible reminder of a union that had fractured. More than that, I could feel the undertones of things left unsaid, a tension that hummed just beneath the surface of our family life. Nothing was ever said to me directly, but a child’s intuition is a powerful thing. I sensed the unresolved grief and the quiet complexities, and this feeling of being separate, of not quite belonging to the story everyone else was living, became the lens through which I viewed the world. Trauma had whispered a lie to my young heart: You are alone, and this is your truth.

The Weight of Otherness

This early conditioning taught me to equate love with distance and family with a sense of being on the outside looking in. It distorted my natural energetic blueprint, teaching me that to be safe, I must be self-reliant, that I must lead because there was no one to follow, and that I must be strong because vulnerability was a luxury I couldn’t afford.

This is what trauma does. It takes our most natural human needs for connection, safety, and love, and twists them into survival strategies. These strategies are brilliant and necessary for a time, but they are not the truth of our soul. They are the distortion, the veil we wear to navigate a world that feels unsafe. The path of spiritual healing is the gentle, courageous work of recognizing these veils for what they are.

When Love Becomes Misaligned: Trauma and Relationships

These early distortions inevitably followed me into my adult life, particularly into my marriage. I chose a partner who was gentle and kind, a man who saw a strength in me that I had manufactured for survival. He encouraged me to lead, to make the decisions, to be the driving force in our partnership.

The Silence That Breeds Resentment

On the surface, I accepted this role. The world celebrated it as the mark of a strong, independent woman. And a part of me believed it, for it was the only way I knew how to be. My trauma had convinced me this was my power. But deep within my soul, a quiet longing persisted. My feminine essence yearned to rest, to receive, to be held in the steady container of masculine presence. It longed for the safety to surrender its armor.

But I never spoke this truth. How could I? I didn’t even have the language for it. Voicing that need felt like a betrayal of the strong woman everyone, including myself, believed me to be. So, I remained silent. And that silence, as it always does, slowly curdled into resentment. It became a poison in the well of our love, creating a chasm between who I was pretending to be and the woman who was quietly crying out inside.

Mistaking Misalignment for Strength

Our dynamic became a perfect reflection of my earliest wound. I became the primary breadwinner, the one holding the structure of our lives together. He, in turn, became the house husband, tending to the home and, in a way, attempting to lead from the back seat. There is nothing inherently wrong with this arrangement, but for us, it was born not of conscious, aligned choice, but of an unconscious repetition of my trauma. In truth, he stepped into that role because the armor I had so carefully constructed around my heart left me unable to soften and receive, creating a vacuum that he naturally filled.

This is a crucial insight into trauma and relationships: trauma convinces us to accept distorted roles as normal. It makes misalignment feel like destiny. I had mistaken my trauma response, an over-developed and protective masculine shield, for my essential truth. The real truth, the one my soul never forgot, was that the divine feminine and masculine energies within me, and within our partnership, were in a painful state of imbalance.

The Sacred Dance of Divine Feminine and Masculine Energies

For so long, I believed my healing journey was about fixing what was broken in me. But I’ve come to understand it differently now. Healing is not about fixing; it’s about revealing. It is the process of gently lifting the veils so the light of truth can pour in and restore what is most natural.

An Uncomfortable Truth That Liberates

The truth that spiritual healing revealed to me was at first uncomfortable, even unpopular in a world that often confuses feminine power with masculine imitation. It is the truth of the sacred dance: that in the energetic flow of creation, the masculine leads, and the feminine follows.

Please, hear this with your soul and not with the wounded parts of your mind. This is not about gender roles or societal hierarchies. It is about a cosmic rhythm. The masculine energy, in its highest expression, is the energy of direction, purpose, and structure. It creates the sacred container. The feminine energy, in her highest expression, is the energy of life force, creativity, and flow. She is the sacred river that fills the container. When the river has no banks, it becomes a flood, directionless and chaotic. When the banks have no river, they are dry, empty, and without purpose. One cannot exist in its divine potential without the other. They thrive in balance, in a holy dance of reciprocity. This same dance is reflected within you. When your inner masculine and inner feminine are in peace, harmony, and balance, they unite in their highest expression as a sovereign energy.

Healing as the Great Revealer

My trauma had forced me to build my own container, to become my own banks. And in doing so, the beautiful, flowing river of my feminine essence grew constricted. The healing wasn’t about blaming my ex-husband, my parents, or myself. It was about seeing the distortion for what it was, a brilliant survival strategy whose time had passed.

It was about extending compassion to everyone involved, understanding that most people are acting from the best of their abilities, from within their own veils of trauma. This perspective is what allows for true forgiveness, and eventually, a deep gratitude for the profound lessons and the reconnection with truth that this healing journey offers.

It was about grieving the dance I never learned and finally, tenderly, giving myself permission to learn it now. It was about understanding that true strength isn’t found in perpetual armor, but in the courage to be vulnerable and receptive.

This path of healing often calls us to better understand our own unique energy. Many who feel this pull find deep resonance in exploring their Soul Signature Goldprint, which can illuminate the soul’s true design beneath the layers of conditioning.

A Legacy of Truth: Seeing Healing Ripple Through Generations

I did not live out that sacred dance perfectly in my own marriage. But the beauty of this work is that our healing is never just for us. It is a gift we give to the future. Today, I watch my beautiful daughter as she steps into motherhood. I see her in a partnership where this sacred balance exists naturally, without the struggle and distortion that defined my own experience.

I see her rest in her feminine essence, held in the loving and capable container of her partner’s masculine presence. They are a team, co-creating with grace. In them, I see the truth that was always available to me, but was hidden beneath the veil. Seeing it reflected in her life is not a source of regret for me, but a profound confirmation of healing. It is the proof that when we commit to our own liberation, we clear the path for those who come after us. The truth, once revealed, ripples outward.

Your Invitation to See Beyond the Veil

Your story is different from mine, but the underlying principle is the same. The trauma you have endured has, in some way, distorted your perception of truth. It may have distorted your idea of love, of safety, of your own worth, or of the beautiful dance of energies within you.

But it has not erased your truth. Your core essence, your divine spark, remains untouched and whole. It is simply waiting for you to begin lifting the veil. This is the promise of healing from trauma. It is a return to what is most natural, a remembering of the song your soul has never forgotten how to sing.

I invite you to sit with this gentle question in the quiet of your own heart:

Where in your life have you mistaken trauma’s distortion for truth, and what might begin to shift if you allowed yourself to see beyond the veil?

Be gentle with whatever arises. This is sacred work. This is the path home to yourself.