Why You’re Addicted to Struggle (And How to Finally Let Go)

Take a soft, deep breath. Feel the gentle rise and fall of your chest. For a moment, I want you to notice the subtle effort in your body. Is there a tightness in your jaw? A tension across your shoulders? A quiet clenching deep in your belly? Most of us carry this tension so constantly that we mistake it for the feeling of being alive. We have learned to swim against the current, believing the struggle is what keeps us moving forward.

But what if the opposite is true? What if your soul is calling you not to strive harder, but to soften, to yield, and to open to the incredible grace of allowing? For so many of us on a spiritual path, the greatest challenge isn’t learning a new technique or gaining more knowledge. It’s unlearning our addiction to the struggle itself. It’s releasing the resistance to the flow of allowance that is our divine birthright. This journey asks us to become comfortable with the profound, and sometimes deeply uncomfortable, feeling of ease.

The Familiar Weight of Resistance

Why do we cling so tightly to the things that exhaust us? On the surface, it makes no sense. Yet, deep within our emotional and energetic bodies, resistance can feel like a form of safety. The habit of being uncomfortable becomes our comfort zone.

This pattern is woven from threads of our past.  Our upbringing, societal conditioning, and even ancestral traumas that taught us our worth is measured by our effort. The ego, in its fierce desire to protect us, learns that control is survival. It orchestrates, plans, and pushes, fearing that if it were to let go, everything would fall apart. To the ego, allowing feels like dangerous passivity.

Letting go of this struggle can feel terrifying because it means releasing our grip on a known reality. The familiar weight of worry, the constant hum of anxiety.  These states, while painful, are predictable. Ease, on the other hand, can feel like a vast, open space with no map. It requires a level of trust that we were never taught, a vulnerability that our nervous system may register as a threat. This is often a core trial during what many call the dark night of the soul, where we are asked to surrender our old ways of being.

Tuning In: The Subtle Language of Your Body

Your body is a divine instrument, always communicating your state of alignment. It will tell you, in its loving wisdom, when you are holding onto resistance. Learning to listen is the first step toward release.

Physical Cues

Notice the small, persistent signals. Resistance often lives in a clenched jaw, raised shoulders, or a tight solar plexus. Your breathing might become shallow, depriving your body of the life force it needs. These are not random aches; they are somatic conversations, inviting you to soften and let go.

Emotional and Mental Cues

Emotionally, resistance manifests as that feeling of being “stuck.” It’s the friction of frustration when things don’t go according to plan, the irritation that bubbles up over small things, or the low-grade anxiety that hums beneath the surface of your day. Mentally, it’s the over-thinking, the replaying of conversations, the constant projection of worry into the future. It is the opposite of the peaceful presence that a consistent meditation practice can cultivate.

The Gentle Practice of Allowance

Releasing a lifetime of resistance is not a forceful act. You cannot fight your way to peace. Instead, it is a gentle turning, a series of small, devoted choices to soften and open. It is a practice of mothering your own heart. Here are a few ways to begin.

The Sacred Pause

The pattern of resistance is momentum. Your most powerful tool is the sacred pause. When you feel the familiar tension rising, simply stop. Close your eyes if you can, and take three conscious breaths. Inhale deeply into your belly, and with each exhale, imagine you are creating space around the struggle. This simple act interrupts the energetic pattern and reminds your nervous system that you are in control, not the reactive habit.

Soften Your Body, Soften Your Field

Your physical posture is directly linked to your energetic state. Right now, intentionally soften the parts of your body where you hold tension. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders away from your ears. Uncurl your hands. As you soften your body, you send a powerful signal to your energetic field that it is safe to release its armor. You are consciously choosing to lay down your weapons of control and self-protection.

The Inquiry of Ease

The mind loves to solve problems, but you can redirect that beautiful capacity toward allowing. Instead of asking, “How can I fix this?” or “What do I need to do?”, gently ask a new question: “What if this could be easy?” or “How can I allow more support to flow to me right now?” This simple inquiry shifts your entire energetic posture from one of pushing to one of receiving. It opens doors you never knew were there.

These practices are beautiful entry points. To take this work deeper into your energetic body and receive direct guidance, I invite you to press play on the guided activation I’ve created for you below. Let my voice guide you into the felt sense of true allowance.

This journey of unwinding and opening is central to your spiritual awakening. If these ideas resonate, and you feel a desire for more guidance on this path, the Rainbow Body Starter Kit is a beautiful place to begin exploring your energy with loving awareness.

Ultimately, learning to allow is an act of profound self-trust. It is the memory of your soul returning, the part of you that knows you are held, supported, and guided by a loving Universe. It’s the courage to release the oars and trust the gentle, powerful current of your own life, knowing it is carrying you exactly where you need to be.